Frenemies:That itch you can’t scratch!

frenemy-main_FullIt’s great that in 2009  there’s  a term to accurately describe a “friend” who really wants to backstab, gossip and break your soul apart– with a  smile on their face, ofcourse.

Yet again, does that really make her a friend?

Friends are supposed to be honest, trustworthy, compassionate and fun. Most importantly, they are there to  boost  your self-esteem rather than quash it with a bitter tweet or a passive aggressive  Facebook status update: Oh, times have truly changed.

Frenemies are actually enemies in the guise of a friend who really want to  compete, backstab and ultimately, bring you down.

If this term seems foreign and unfathomable to you, let me break it down. Have you ever had an itch that you can’t completely scratch but that  itch won’t go away, inspite of the effort you put into scratching it?

That aforementioned description is what a frenemy is.You can’t stand the fact that they give you a bad feeling inside whenever they chill with your buds yet you can’t cut them out out of your life forever since it will sour your other relations fast. They are that  itch you want to scratch but can’t,  since it will create a rash all over your body of friends and family.

The biggest victims of this itch are women since our social circles are plagued with these fake, jealous, insecure backstabbers. Over the years, I tried to scratch that itch from my life but learned, over time, to simply not react to their bitter ways.

Throughout my struggle, I did learn how to spot a frenemy:

  • Does she/he  make nasty remarks by  “accident” but sugar it up with a falsetto sweet voice just to irk you.
  • Does she/he make you feel nervous, scared and unhappy? These itches try to one up you and make it that it’s bad for you to be yourself.
  • Have you ever had a bitter feeling inside whenever you interacted with her/him?  If you get that feeling,  please do not ignore it. Your gut instinct is telling you  that this person is out to get you.
  • Has she ever been consistent in her foul behavior against you? And what I mean by foul is :Manipulate you with passive aggressive behavior, insult you,  use you for her  own agenda, and ignore your feelings and requests just to mess with you.
  • Has she stolen all of your friends, turned them against you or has  gotten your pals to consistently make you the butt of every joke in public?
  • Do you have a love/hate relationship with her whenever you think about her?

If you have spotted a frenemy amongst your group of friends, calm down and remember the world will not end. You just need to brush up on your acting skills and put alot of distance between the two of you.

I mean, why lower yourself at her game when you can be the confident person by ignoring her insecure attempts at bringing you down? Just smile,  say something positive, and walk away– FAST!


  1. Ah so glad I haven’t had to deal with frenemies since Junior High School! You know what’s funny? I was one of those girls too and I know that I was a frenemy as a defense mechanism. We wanted to be friends but for some reason we had to be mean to survive Elementary and Junior High School (grades K-8). There was so much peer pressure and of course a lot of us didn’t yet know what the true meaning of friend was. In high school I actually left the frenemies and frenemy behavior behind not only because we went to different schools, but in high school I gained true friends who I didn’t have to be afraid of. The friends I dreamed of having but never actually new. Real friends. I’m still pretty tight with my high school friends and I can spot a potential frenemy from a mile away (having been one myself). So yeah, I pretty much avoid them. Less stress in my life.

  2. Isn’t it funny that even when we are adults we result to junior high school like behavior? I liked your blog so much I put it in one of my Myspace blog giving you credit and adding your link as well. Hey, I’ve noticed you and I have very similar educations!

  3. Awww! Thank you soo much, that really means alot! I never dealt with this Frenemies stuff until I went to college. I had an old bestie who used me, stole friends and crapped on my reputation for the hell of it. It’s weird, no matter how nice you are to people, they take advantage of you and deny everything when you confront them too. You live and you learn but you are a complete sweetheart for helping me promote this entry! Do you blog? I would love to read yours 🙂

  4. It’s such a shame that some women choose to try to bring other women down, rather than work together, but as long as you can identify them early then hopefully they cant hurt you too badly!

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