Okay, people read Twilight and Anne Rice books and think vampires are the most romantic creatures ever. Well, If any of these hopeless romantics ever had a real emotional vampire prey on their moods and continually suck the life out of them, than they would think twice before ever making a commitment to these emotional soul suckers.
So, if you think you are dating (or worse) in a relationship with an emotional vampire, please run away and do not look back.
1.) A grandiose sense of self-importance. Meaning it’s all about him and you must cater to his needs, at all times. The second you ask him to do any sort of favor for you, he will guilt trip into thinking you are this horrible, selfish, and needy person for even asking anything to begin with. Besides, he only cares about having someone feed his fragile ego with false praises and loves it when all eyes are on him.
2.)Is interpersonally exploitative,(takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends). For example, in a relationship he may be sleeping with you and another girl, at the same time, and try to make you both hate each other when you both meet face-to-face,–just for his own, sick, twisted entertainment. Basically, he feeds of your anger, disgust and sadness since he chooses not to express that, himself.
His passive aggressive tendencies make anyone closest to him feel enraged and that’s where he gets his emotional blood from; From your high blood pressure and near stroke moment when he contains every conversation you have and pinpoints it all back to you, intentionally.
3.) Lacks empathy and is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others. Let’s say you muster the courage to confront him about his insults towards your heritage,intelligence, skills, self-esteem, family or even education. He’s so selfish, that he only cares about his feelings and only cares about getting his way. He doesn’t know how to think in another person’s shoes nor comprehend how you feel. It’s all about what the emotional vampires wants and what he can get from you. Lacking empathy is also a dead give away from having a narcissistic personality. People with these personality disorders tend to twist things around so it will only be beneficial to him and to shadow you as something “negative”.
In fact, if he’s a supreme emotional sucker, he will coax you into apologizing to him, multiple times, for being so “negative” for all of the wrong that he did to you. Do not expect a real apology from him either. These kinds of creatures give passive aggressive apologies that steer it in the direction of you always being the cause of every problem there is between the two of you. Lastly, he always plays victim and cries that he does so many nice things to people, but they “some how” do bad things to him all the time. Hmmm, kind of suspiscious..
4.)Has a strong sense of entitlement,(unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his expectations.) He forces you to counteract your morals since he feels like he’s the boss of you and/or derrides you for every single flaw you make and have. He also invalidates you everytime you slightly disagree with him and for maliciously breaking his rules.
I mean if you don’t obey his creed for talking, walking, dressing or even being like him he will punish you with silent treatments, passive aggressive remarks, and enough emotional warfare to get you to do exactly what he wants. ( This includes If he hates a certain show, food, or religion then he may force you to hate it too).
5.) Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love. It’s okay to reach for the stars but people who are never happy project their inner bitterness towards whomever they are closest with. There are rich people who are never happy with the money they have, models who don’t feel beautiful enough and corporate CEO’s who are always greedy for more. If your emotional vampire is obsessed with something not so attainable, they will pick you apart for not fitting their delusions of grandeur.
There is no such thing as perfection and people who scrutinize every flaw you or anyone else has, truly doesn’t love themselves and could never love another person as well.
6.) Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her. He’s so insecure that he compares himself to others and he compares you to others too. Never stay with a man who compares you as less to his mother, co-workers and his past ex girlfriends.
People who are too worried about what others think are not secure with themselves. No one can fix that but him, and it’s highly doubtful he would even want to do so, since people like that view themselves as demi-gods.
7.) He shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes. It’s self-explanatory but he acts holier than thou to you and to others. He also brags and boasts about his greatness too. Since he also carries with him entitlement issues, your expected to serve your majesty’s every whim.
Just because he so graciously accepted you as someone who exists in his life ( sarcasm). He feels that he’s God’s gift to x, y, and z and doesn’t treat you as an equal–at all! Why waste time with a tape recording that doesn’t have stop button?
8.) He’s emotionally abusive. Most people don’t realize that emotional abuse is twice as harmful than physical abuse and leaves the longest mark in a woman’s life. It hinders the choicees a woman makes in her life and curbs her from being more proactive with making positive decisions. Emotional abuse also eats up self-esteem, confidence, strength, intelligence, happiness and at worse– regenerates her into someone she can not recognize.
Men who also repeatedly lie, cheat and manipulate, also fall into this category. Since they do things behind their girlfriend’s back as a way to get back at her for whatever slight. Emotional vampires have poor interpersonal communication skills and terrible listening skills, which highly contributes to their emotional abuse. They always get reactive, call you negative and make you take the blame for all of their mistakes as a way to deflect from taking any blame and to stop any confrontation. Even if your emotional vampire only does number 8, that’s more than enough reason to walk out of his house and life forever.
9.) He invalidates you in every way. This is actually the clincher. Everything you say to him, he listens on deaf ears. If you tell him to stop cheating on you, he will deny it and blame you for his extra liasions. Then he will continue relations with her. Or if you talk to him, he will provoke you into feeling a certain way and certainly make you think twice about even feeling angry towards him. Since, nothing is ever his fault.
Just check out this link and evaluate your relationship, thoroughly. If he ‘invalidates’ you more than 65% of the time, you do know now that you have a severe problem on your hands. Long-term invalidation leads to psychological damage and sometimes, it may lead to irreversible harm.
If he follows through with all of these examples then you must take a break and really think twice if you really want to spend forever with this twisted S.O.B.
Yes, there are ALOT of men out there like that. However, I also want to conclude by stating that there are a few good men out there too. A good man has morals, respects what you have to say, treats you like a queen and not like a servant.
They are the ones who love you for who you are, never cheat, never compare you to past flames and never have feelings for anyone else ( like a friend, ex-girlfriend, or some random girl he momentarily meets on the street).
When you a find a great guy who DOES NOT fit my aforementioned tips, please hold on to him, he is a keeper. Keep hope alive and be optimistic ladies. Amongst 10 emotional vampires, are 2 vampire slayers. ❤