Have any of you seen that one episode of The Simpsons ( before it went to hell) where Homer traveled to every single McDonalds, across the United States, for a McRib? I hope neither of you have forgotten this episode since it was not only hilarious but inspiring. After eating the McRib for the first time in my entire life, I can see why Homer Simpson was willing to travel so far and wide for these rare nuggets of happiness. The McRib is McTasty.
All my life, i’ve seen McRib commercials intermittingly make appearances on the tube, on billboards and even in catchy radio jingles. Never before did they ever entice me to spend $3.00 bucks for them since I was too young to understand the value behind the McRib. I was too young to comprehend the mechanics behind the sauce swathing over the rib, or over how the tiny onions and pickle seemed to accentuate it’s overall appeal in your mouth. Now, at the humbling age of ( none-of-your-business), I matured into trying my first McRib.
I was at my local McDonalds drive-thru today, ready to just purchase a cheap cup of coffee, when all of a sudden, a medium sized sign for a McRib appeard infront of my sight. It looked like a technicolor dream, almost surreal, since I was getting hungrier by the second. I told the disgruntled ( I never hear jubilant voices over the intercom) McWorker that I would like a small cup of coffee and a McRib. She complied and said, “Whatever.. $4.07”. As I drove farther in my shifty yet unloveable Hyundai Elantra, I daydreamed and pondered a myriad of questions, over what my mouth may encounter.
Will the tangy sauce assuage my picky taste buds? Will the meat actually taste like real meat since McDonalds uses fake meat in all of their meat-products? Is the McRib really worth my $3.00?
After I picked up my small purchase, I raced home. Every second felt like an hour since I couldn’t stop thinking about my new McRib sandwich. As I entered into my humble abode, I appropriated all my things and relegated, myself, into my room. I wanted my moment between me and my McRib sandwich to be special, singular and solitary. Since this was a solitary moment between me and the McRib.
As I felt more halcyon, I slowly and expeditely unwrapped my McRib until it was McBare. All that was left of this subtle seduction was a naked sandwich, glistening and sitting a few inches from me. The rib was long, and it laid brazenly in between two pieces of bread. A few onions and a pickle were peaking out, and enticing me with their shape, color and possible taste.
This whole experience was engimatic, inscrutable and mysterious to me. There was no one else in the room, just me and the McRib.
Later on, I used my adroit fingers, grappled my McRib and took a small bite.
OMG! I couldn’t stop fantasizing over my McRib and I had it encumbered in between my hands. The McRib is everything I wanted it to be and then some. The meat was tender, the sauce was slightly tart, and the experience was magical. I wanted my time with the McRib to be perennial so I vowed to only take small bites, as a way to cherish my time with it more.
Eating the McRib today was not only salubrious to my mental health but a happy memory for me. I know I will forget about everything else that happened October 24, 2011 except eating my first McRib. I will always McRemember this McTasty moment when I ate the most McScrumptious sandwich from McDonalds ever, which will always be the McRib.